Dreaming in the Morning

by Ronnie McFadden
(Trout Creek, ON Canada)

Between the age of 18-23 I lived with a man named Mike.

Our relationship was not one of destiny but one of necessity, at least on my side of things. I used him as a way of escaping my mother's wrath. We live in the same small town and to this day(ten years later)

I feel guilt over my abuse.
About four years into the relationship we were living in a small apartment in a dilapidated building.

He was an apprentice tool & die maker, I was an apprentice pharmacy technician.
One weekend he had plans to go with a group of guys from his family into Algonquin Park to go fishing.

I don't know the exact weekend but I do remember it was "opening weekend", something the boys get very excited about.

It was just as well to me... I could use some space.

That particular weekend for the first and only time, I was asked to work overnight, in preparation for our inventory inspection the following week.

I was coming home just as people were waking up and I was desperate for sleep. I remember nothing of making myself wind down and ready for sleep but I will never forget the dream I had.

I was watching overhead the way a bird must. Mike who was a giant man was lying (laying?) flat on his back, corpse pose. Surrounding him in a circle were all the men he was fishing with. I can still remember distinctly the look of the tops of their heads.

I am no longer like a bird but a deer racing through the forest from the top of the hill down to Mike. I remember screaming. I also remember observing curiously that although the bush was overgrown I was managing to dodge everything. No leaf touched me as I ran towards Mike.

Next thing I recall was the phone ringing. My sister was calling me for I don't remember what reason. I told her about the dream I was having then I went back to sleep.

The next time the phone woke me up it was Mike's mother. She asked me to get his health card and other ID together because 'the guys' came home early and something was wrong with Mike. She was taking him to emerge.

Mike was diagnosed with type I diabetes. None of us saw it coming. He spent a week in intensive care. His blood sugar was 60.5 (safe sugar levels are considered to be between 3-7ish). He was very much on his death bed by the time I had dreamt (dreamed)?..

When they finally released him from hospital he was still at an astounding 22.5 level blood count. Apparently they couldn't make it go lower at the time.

To this day I have very regular dreams about Mike. The dreams take all forms of storyline.

Ronnie